Most single mothers don't want to being single mothers...

The truth is that almost all single mothers don’t want to be single mothers.  They love being mothers, but the single part is what drives them nuts.  Being a parent, especially a mother, is hard enough but once you add on the single part, well the minefield enters a whole other realm.

We all know what happens to a mother the moment that her body starts showing her pregnancy, other parents will give you advice on how to be a mother.  The problem is that most of the parents sharing their advice don’t always realize that what worked for them, doesn’t always apply to everyone.  It just applies to them and their lifestyle. Sometimes what gets forgotten is that the kind of advice a single mother needs is as different has her story of how she became a single mother.

My story is the classic, fell in love, got pregnant and the guy couldn’t deal so he slowly started ending things until he just disappeared from my son and I’s life.  The whole process was devastating, never mind the whole Korean mother not okay with her daughter being pregnant outside of marriage drama that I was experiencing at home throughout it all.  Now my son is 9 yrs old and my parents and I have reached a level where we are able to raise my son together without too many problems or fights.  But it wasn’t easy and no matter how much advice people would try to give me, most of it was never right for me and my situation, mainly cause they just didn’t get the truth of my situation.  Even my friends, whom I love and adore, would often give me advice based on what they would do, not what was right for me.  But ultimately, isn’t that what advice is?

What you as a person and a single mother need to do is to figure out if that advice, opinion or comment is even a feasible for your reality.  Your reality is different from your best friend’s reality, your neighbor’s, your parents or your siblings; it is uniquely your own, because each of us is our own unique individual in how we perceive and react to the world.  We may perceive and react in a similar way as our family, friends and neighbors but not in an exactly same way and that is all the difference in the world, especially when it comes to taking someone else’s advice.  Now, I’m not saying “don’t take anyone’s advice” or “don’t try to get different opinions to try and figure out your problems”, what I’m saying is to use your own common sense in determining whether someone’s advice can and should be applied in your own life.  You know what works for you, your family and your situation, so gather up some advice but always do your research and trust yourself to know if it will work in your reality.